Miss World 2011 Evening Gowns: The "Uh Oh's" & HOOCHIES!

Bad...or Hoochie Bad???

Miss Mongolia World 2011: Where do you think she will end up on my "Uh Oh!" List? Is she just Bad, or is she Hoochie Bad? Read on to find out...

Continuing with my "Review" of the World Designer Evening Dresses that the Miss World 2011 contestants chose--or were chosen for them by their (sometimes) misguided pageant directors...In my last post, I discussed my "Best" list, so now, let's talk about the ladies who should have known better...I have a feeling those judges might have been quietly going "What was she thinking?" I would have. And please, lovely nations of these beautiful ladies: take no offense, I'm not critiquing the country just the choice of tacky dresses...

Miss Costa Rica World 2011 Paola Chaverri: Oh huney. What 1987 Prom--in San Jose Costa Rica-- did you think you were going to? Mi amor. Querida Paola. There is no need for so many wired ruffles. She's gorgeous and statuesque (almost 6 foot!), and would have looked amazing in a LONG column gown with her hair slicked back in a classic elegant chignon. One good Style Note: the taupe/nude peep-toe heels are great!

Miss Belize World 2011 Kadejah Tunn: God bless her! Miss Tunn is all 5'4" and she's tryin' amongst her fellow 6 foot competitors. She wants to be noticed. But in this dress, she'll be noticed for the wrong reasons. First of all, did some animal get to the side of her gown and take CHUNKS off her side? Just sayin'. And then it's like a cha-cha drag queen from the hips down! Now, I love me a Cha Cha Drag Queen (it's my alter ego!), but that may not be your best muse for the Miss World 2011 "Top Model/World Designer Fashion Show. And does the last cut out have a black mesh inset?! Yikes!

Miss Austria 2011 Julia Hofer: No, no and NO! Please tell me this is not considered "evening gown red carpet material" in the lovely nation of Austria. I can find that in Santee Alley in Downtown LA. And those pick-up ruffles say Tacky Quinceañera in ANY language. She's so pretty , why oh why would she wear this?

Miss Montenegro World 2011 Maja Maras: Let's start with the positive: it reminds me of a Rodarte dress--the draped gathered silhouette and unique embellishment. Now the not-so-good: The askew gathered draping and unusual embellishment! Is that aluminum foil twisted and knotted? Or Xmas garlands? It so did not need that. Without it, the dress would have been ten minutes away from being called "Grecian Goddess". Here, she's far from it.

Miss Aruba World 2011 Gillain Berry: Part of me wants to grab Gillain, hold her and take her back into my NIKOLAKI studio and give her the dress she should be wearing (something about that oh-so-pretty face makes me want to befriend her). This white (flammable poly satin, I'm sure!) gown is A LOT: it is straight out of some 1980's "Dynasty" episode (or more like "The Colby's"). I wish I had been there at the "Miss World 2011 Top Model/World Designer" fashion show/presentation: I would have gotten my scissors and started cutting those ruffles away!

Miss Cyprus World 2011 Orthodoxia Panagi: First of all: love her name--Orthodoxia!!! But, I do not love her gown so much. We all know the first rule of making dresses for women: DO NOT HIGHLIGHT, or make it look, as if she's got HUGE hips! This white poly (how do I know?, look at those rippling badly sewn seams) satin taffeta dress is just wrong. From the KRAZEE ruffled top to the side exposure to the cowl hip draped detail...This is a clear case of a designer who thought they were being "edgy" and told their client "just wear it!". Next time, say NO!

The Hoochie Girls:

Miss Gibraltar 2011 Michelle Petersen: Two years ago, Miss Gibraltar won the Miss World title so of course, people are thinking, could another lovely woman from the famous British overseas territory do it again. Maybe, but not in this gown. Let me get to the positive: She's beautiful and the gown fabrication--all-over gold metallic sequins--is quite fabulous. But then, why-oh-why does she have to expose SO much? The SISTAHS are all out for everyone to see and if that's not enough, there's the ultra-high side slit. One or the other. Not both.

Miss Lebanon World 2011 Yara Khoury-Mikhael: HUUUNEEEYYY! Speaking of showing a lot, I present to you Miss Lebanon. First off, once again: I LOVE the heavy gold beaded fabrication. But then, the rest of the gown is this sheer iridescent nude! It is exposing parts of her that I am embarrassed to see. First of all: is that her white SPANX panty under there? If not, then what is it, mini shorty-shorts? I don't get it. Why white, why not just gold? Why is the gown from the waist down not lined? So many questions...and I just don't have the time. If I was judging, I would have moved on.

Miss Norway World 2011 Anna Zahl: Somehow Miss Norway's Designer wanted to make a statement with this dress. The statement was: I am going to TAO in Las Vegas and will try--even if I am waiting in line for THREE HOURS--to get in! How is this long-sleeved mini dress (that ANYONE can get in mall anywhere in the world) so special and worthy of a "World Fashion Designer Award"? I think Anna was sabotaged. Plain and simple. Now get back in line at TAO!

Miss Mongolia 2011 Buyankhishig Unurbayar: Finally, yes, Miss Mongolia ends up in my "Hoochie" section for this concoction of a gown. It's not necessarily the gown but that oh-so-plunging neckline. Seriously, I can't even focus on the rest of the dress when THOSE things are so propped up and on full display; it's like "Here they are! Y'all want them?" How do you say that in Mongolian? Oh, here's a positive: I LOVE that sequined Disco headband!! So Olivia Newton-John "Let's Get Physical"!

* Next Up: The Miss World Evening Gown "Costumed" Ladies...

Pageant Minute: Miss Universe 2011--The HOT MESSES of the "Evening Gown Portraits" !!

Mija...Tacky Black Pumps, Mother-of-the-Bride Hairdo's, Slits up to the Cha-Cha, Dominatrix Stiletto Platforms...The Miss Universe 2011 Official Evening Gown Portrait No-No's:

A Wrist/Cuff Train Holder??? Uh...NO!!! See where this lovely "HOT MESS" ended up on my "Put That Dress Back on The Rack" List...

As you may know--from keeping up with my nickverreos.com blog here--I am in "Pageant Mode", since the Miss Universe 2011 competition is coming up in a few weeks, and the much-anticipated "Evening Gown Portraits" were released over the weekend on the Miss Universe website. In my last two posts, I began with my "Best" from those photos and the gowns the international ladies chose. But of course, now I must discuss THE HOT MESSES as much as I don't like to do it. As a Fashion Designer who's expertise is in designing evening gowns and red carpet dresses, I do it more to help, and "style-advise" my lovely beauty pageant gals as to what they shouldn't be sportin' in the evening category. Now, remember these may or may not be the gowns these lovely women wear in the Final Telecast (for their sake, I HOPE NOT!!!) but still, I must discuss...



Here's my "Put That Gown Back On The Rack" List:



Miss Mexico Universe 2011 Karin Ontiveros: There's A LOT riding on Karin. Last year's Miss Universe, Ximena Navarette is from Mexico and did EVERYTHING right in 2010--including choosing the right gown. I'm not sure if Karin chose correctly here. It's just a bit "off". A two-piece purple strapless peplum'ed bustier with over-sized flower detail--and a gold lame skirt. If she were hosting a minor award show in Mexico City that her abuelita would be attending: Maybe. But not for the Miss Universe Pageant. Her hair and make-up look great though--very Selena Gomez.



Miss India Universe 2011 Vasuki Sunkavalli: I expect a lot from those stunning--and very stylist Miss India's. However, at least for the choice of this gown and styling: Not so much-ey. It looks like a gown I would have designed and made TEN years ago (I think I actually did!) But what bothers me most are the BIG BLACK PUMPS! Whyyyyyyy? It makes no sense. Didn't she bring some metallic strappy heels (EVERY pageant girls needs to have at least THREE pairs!) or nude ones. The whole look wouldn't be so bad if it wasn't for those BLACK PUMPS!



Miss Finland Universe 2011 Pia Pakarinen: OK, she's just GORGEOUS. Doll-like. She'll be in the Top 15 just for that beautiful face! Leave it to those Scandinavians to produce beauties like her! Something about the fish, the vodka and the cold weather I guess. But I am not a fan of her gown choice here. It's very "Bridesmaid", especially the light pastel color. And, what is up with THAT 4 inches too short length?



Miss Hungary Universe 2011 Betta Lipcsei: Well, basically all I have to say is that's just a whole lot of tiered ruffles! Is she a background player at a Budapest performance of "Bizet's Carmen"? It's very "Cha-Cha" and I do LOVE Cha-Cha, but not for this. I say try again and maybe with not so many tiers of ruffles--a "Mermaid"-style gown skirt would have been better.



Miss Georgia Universe 2011 Eka Gurtskaia: Look at what we've got here--It's a MINI...No, wait, it's long. No, it's a Mini. No wait, It's BOTH: A Mini dress with a fitted chiffon long skirt overlay...with a silver metallic bodice midriff. Here's the thing: It's WRONG and a little trashy. If it would have been lined all the way to the floor (as opposed to a mini way too close to her nether-regions) it actually could have been nice.



Miss Brazil Universe 2011 Priscilla Machado: A lot is also riding on Priscilla. She's the "home-country" girl. The Miss Universe Pageant is--after all--taking place in Brazil! I am disappointed in this gown choice. It's the kind of pageant dress that ends up on the Sale Rack at a local Prom/Bridal Boutique! And, why did she allow herself to get a big poufy 54-year-old Housewife Hair-DON'T? Here's a suggestion Priscilla: Go to Miss Venezuela or Miss Puerto Rico's Hotel Room and closets, take one of their gowns...and you'll be "good as new"! They'll never know the gowns are missing.



Miss Montenegro Universe 2011 Nikolina Loncar: OK, I LOVE her first name--NIKOLINA!! But this dress!!! Please tell me her ruched poly chiffon one-shoulder dress does NOT have a Cuff Train Holder? Those three words: Cuff, Train, Holder...I NEVER wanna see together again. And on her feet: The black pumps that DON'T MATCH at all! Chinese Laundry (Miss Universe Shoe Sponsor): We need some silver/metallic strappy heels ASAP!



Miss Belgium Universe 2011 Justine De Jonckheere: Oh huney, there are TOO many things going on with this dress: It's a one-shoulder..but then it's not; then there's a Blouson sleeve for no apparent reason; then straps connecting the midriff-waist; a high side slit. It's a little "Belly-Dancer"-ish. To finish it all off, she adds (because she feels it's sooooo necessary!) a tacky necklace, a cuff, PLUS the bouffant hair. She's such a cute girl. Why? Strip her of EVERYTHING and put her in a simple strapless sequined column gown. Done and done!



Miss Guatemala Universe 2011 Alejandra Barillas: But, I will save the Best "Hot Mess" for last. This is A LOT of Gown: The Football Quarterback-sized sequined shoulder caplet (I know that Strong Shoulders are "In" but this is taking it to a WHOLE other level!), the high slit (of course), PLUS the too-long train (for no reason) and then (Drum Roll!!), THOSE Stiletto Platform Dominatrix pumps!? Here's a positive: This ensemble would be FABULOSO on a Drag Queen for "Joan Crawford Meets Joan Collins Night" at a bar in West Hollywood. Remove the Over-sized Shoulder-Padded Caplet, cut 20 inches off that train and get her some peep-toe nude pumps (with NO PLATFORM!) and she'll be "back in the game"!



*Next Up: The Strippers Of The Universe!!!!! Yes, kids, What Miss Universe 2011 Contestants decided they would be Strippers for their Evening Gown Portraits? Find out in the next post!